Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
