WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
