theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
