So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
