420 ftw
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
