The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
