Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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