You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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