Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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