ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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