so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We need to rekindle our bromance
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
