Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
