Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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