She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
