it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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