We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
