were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
