Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im six kinds of drunk right now
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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