Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize