so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
