Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
