Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize