Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
