I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
