dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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