I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
