Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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