I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
