Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake