Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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