sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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