I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
