Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
