somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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