Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
