and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
