I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize