Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack