where am i from again
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.