Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.