I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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