Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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