I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
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So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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