i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
