The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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