plz talk dirty to me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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