Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
