i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
