my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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