Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
