How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
