a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
