Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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