Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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