the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Who died my cat blue again?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
