Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
