Kiss
Puke
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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